on the wishlist: my first dictionary
Just added to the Amazon wishlist (ahem): My First Dictionary: Corrupting Young Minds One Word at a Time. "A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens. Father is nostalgic. He is remembering the happier times before you were born. A zigzag is a jagged line. We can tell that Mother has been drinking when she drives in a zigzag pattern." (Via Cool Hunting.)
(On the flipside, via Matt Haughey comes this list of John Perry Barlow's adult principles. Example: "Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that." Gee, THANKS Dad.)